Mission Statment: Winter of my Malcontent
I enjoy the empty streets this time of year. The only cyclists on the roads are ones either experienced or crazy enough to brave the New England winds. No morons in the bike lane wobbling around. Drivers think you’re totally nuts, and give you extra space. If you know your stuff, you’re warm.
But the problem is that it’s lonely. There’s no community. Just a few pedal-ships zipping through the extra-long nights, legs cranking to keep the warmth going until they reach their destination. No chat, no complimenting bikes, just business.
Much as I hate to say it, it’s worse than the summer drones.
So how do we get The People out? How do we keep the cycling community on their bikes? How do we make normal people into year-round rebels, defying common assumptions and the lure of the fossil fuel barons that hide behind every subway car?
Education, Comrades. Education.
I have traveled these streets as a commuter for two years now. I’m not new enough to make the same old mistakes, but I’m not old enough to forget what it’s like to be new.
This is my Commutist Manifesto. I seek to spread commutism to the masses by educating them, from their naked infancy, into full Cycle Comrades. I do not cater to the converted, nor pander to the ignorant. I simply aim to educate and provide good sense based on my own frustrations.
Herein are the Cardinal Truths of the Commutist Manifesto:
1) The proletariat fears spending money on unknown ideas. The Manifesto will try to ease these expenses in the long-term view.
2) The proletariat must not fall into the deathly Cult of Equipment, and must understand that the well-built thigh trumps the $2000 crotch rocket.
3) The proletariat has little use for flashy toys, but seeks a tool that brings joy alongside utility.
4) The proletariat will not believe in the Cycle Revolution inherently, but must be convinced through good sense and good will that there is value to Cycle Camaraderie. If they do not doubt, they are not worth having.
From these tenets we launch forth. Wheelers of the world, unite!
January 9th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Hurray! I love it. I for one welcome the destruction of our cruel car overlords!
January 28th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
Great post. I’ve recently become a year rounder, and have long since enjoyed other similar manifestos… but shouldn’t the ‘proletariat’ in this case be something more like “pedaltariat” or “rolletariat?” dunno, maybe it’s too much. But you’ve got a couple of amusing posts going here that I agree with.